The first day alone

The tea and toast were stone-cold, but I didn’t notice. How could I, when he was not here? He was away and I missed him a lot. Does he miss me too? I guess he may. Maybe he misses me more than I do or maybe I miss him more. I am the one who has become alone. He is with so many people. He has the company of lots. What was he doing now? Did he have something to eat? Was he feeling alright? I couldn’t believe that my baby had grown up so much that he is going to kindergarden. This was not what I had imagined. I had thought I would feel liberated. Finally free of being on my toes and my brains being on constant “alert” mode, I had thought that I am going to be relieved. Here I was feeling just the opposite of relief.

All this would change but I guess each time you go farther and farther away from the protective nest that we have made for you, me and your papa will feel the have this increasing feeling of emptiness.


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